How to find Love?
Mainstream media VS Buddhist approach to LOVE
Why is Love so Complicated?
Why, why, why….?
Why we are longing for a loving relationship so much
Why do we feel discontent and uncomplete without another person?
Why are we looking for love always outside of ourselves?
Why there are so many failed relationships?
How to find Love?
- according to the mainstream media
"All you need is LOVE"
Everybody wants to be loved, accepted, be content and feel happy. I think we can all agree on that.
If you need some advice on how to achieve that you are most likely looking for guidance on the mainstream media (tv, online, print etc.).
So let's find out what are the most popular concepts about love on mainstream media?
If you google “how to find love” on the internet you find:
About 1,780,000,000 results (0.39 seconds) that will give you 'good' advice on how to find love.
Most of them will tell you exactly what's wrong with you and how to fix it.
For sure you are not doing things right, or simply you are just not a good lover.
But don't worry, if you follow the advice of the media such as portraying confidence or increasing your physical attractiveness definitely you will find love and be happy forever.
And if you search the internet you will find that there is a neverending discussion and advice on how to improve yourselves so you have a bigger chance to find love.
The buddhist approach
Let's look at an entirely different approach that is more than 2,500 year old. I am not a Buddhist but I offer this approach here as an example for a different way of thinking.
“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”
– Buddha
An important core teaching in Buddhism is self-love. Buddha teaches that you love the self before extending the love to others. In other words, before you are able to be a love luminary, you must have the capacity to embrace yourself fully.
The search is not external but internal. You first find it from within. To love the self is to be in continuous connection with your true essence. You learn to accept, appreciate and affirm who you are. You start to embrace all parts of yourself, the good, the bad, the beautiful and the ugly.
From self love, you lay the groundwork for the expression of compassion for others.
How to achieve self-love?
Buddhist teachings recommend to spend time focusing inward daily (meditate, journal) and stop numbing your feelings as a daily practice.
Breathe, relax and let go, practice Pranayama
Be patient with yourself, appreciate yourself
Honor and respect yourself
Make time for play, express your creativity
Focus on your gifts and blessings, practice gratitude
In Conclusion
You can see that these are two completely different paths and practices. I invite you to open your mind and ask yourself:
"What is your approach to Love? And how is that working out for you?
If you are unhappy and feel a lack of Love in your Life, maybe you can try something different, and embrace some new ideas to bring an expansion of Love into your Life.
In La'kesh
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